My journey: Why God wants us to home-school our 4 children eventually!!!

Picnic in backyard!
Picnic in backyard!

FYI: I’m the mom who tried homeschooling and loved it at first with Abigail in Kindergarten and Elijah in Preschool 2012-2013. Then I couldn’t stand it! I told myself I would never be able to home school again! And I only write this post for myself mainly. To keep track and to show my kids one day why I home school. But just in case you are wondering how I was led to do so here it is. Also, I tend to preach and get others to join me, but don’t feel condemned or pressure to home school! I wrote later in here that when you start having more than 3 kids sometimes it just makes sense to home school because if you leave them in school it can get really stressful juggling all the different schedules! And then if you have 2 kids sometimes you can afford a nice small Christian Private School. That’s cool too! God knows what is right for your family and will guide you all the way!!

February 2016– I was feeling anxious about my children’s brain and if they were going to be smart. I was being negative about their future. I was even considering enrolling my kids in extra tutoring and paying for it!! As I was looking up information on the internet I ran across this book: https://www.amazon.com/Taming-Tiger-Parent-Well-Being-Competitive/dp/1845285492

Taming the Tiger Parent by Tanith Carey

I got this book for my birthday in March and started to read it! It was so amazing to hear all of the facts about education! It totally opened my mind to having a different perspective on things! I became very positive after I read just the first few chapters. I also heard God tell me, “I want you to home school your children because it is what is best for them and for you!” I told my friend Beth about it. But that was all. I didn’t think about it again because I knew that was a far fetched idea!

May 2016– We bought our first home in Wylie, TX!!! Before we bought the home I was able to drive to the kids elementary school. It took 17 minutes to get there!! On my way back I heard the Lord say, “I am giving you this home far from your elementary school so it will force you to home school!” I was more open to the idea, but still thought it was impossible! I knew they had to go to school for one year to actually meet kids in the neighborhood and near by! And then I would see after that!

July 2016– I had a very significant dream. In the dream a game show host man was saying, “Do you want to know the number one thing that will make your life so great!???” I’m leaning in to hear what he’s going to say! He says, “Your life is on a path. But before the path even begins you need to go underground to where all the winds and twists are! They are very difficult and hard roads. It is not easy to go through them! But Oh it will be worth it! For if you choose to skip the underground winds and twists and begin your journey on the easy paved road don’t fool yourself into thinking that once your far down the road that you don’t ever have to come back to the underground part! That is a lie! The truth is you HAVE to come back at some point to go through the underground road! But it will be so much more difficult and painful if you skip it at first! Don’t skip it or you will suffer more later!!!” Then I woke up. I told Matthew and he immediately thought of home school. That was not even on my radar! But I did think of first time obedience! Also in the back of my head I remembered what God told me when we got the house! I was asking Him why He put our school 20 minutes away from us. He said, “Because it will force you to home school your children, which is what I eventually want for your family!” I also knew that I wanted them to go to school for sure at least one semester or 1 year to make friends in the neighborhood and on the bus. And now we have a weekly Friday Kids Club that can continue even if we home school!

Aug 26th– Came to a point of great frustration in my life where I knew something had to change or I would give up in life. I told God, “If I can’t have peace and love with my family I don’t want to live! This is how important it is for me to overcome!”  I am a very driven person who wants to accomplish many things in life! And since God is my all I want to know Him and make Him known! I felt like I was failing at being a parent so how can I help other people! Then God spoke to me. He said, “Tabitha, when you discipline your kids I want you to do it with the same Spirit as when you hug and cuddle with them. Because both are the highest forms of love. They are no different in my eyes.” He also said, “Don’t dread the day filled with chores! Look forward to spending quality time with family and friends and do chores together and get a system to make it less work for you. Relationships are what I created you for! So don’t lose sight of relationships any day!” Songs that helped me: Higher by Unspoken and Lord, I need you by Matt Maher

August 29th 2016-called my girlfriend Stacey Tanner randomly out of a divine appointment who used to have prayer meetings at her house monthly. She was available to come to my house the next day and bring her other girlfriend Teresa Lusk! After having such an amazing prayer time that was led by the Holy Spirit we all committed to meeting weekly if our schedule allows to pray together and encourage one another! Prayer changes our lives for the better! Every week I was seeing more fruit in my life because of it! God was bringing breakthrough after breakthrough for me in regards to parenting and my relationship with Matthew and with my relationship with God! After praying with them, the next day God spoke to me and said, “God’s expectation of you as a parent is to show the fruits of the Spirit so you can show them what I am like.” So I thought, if I teach them school and cleaned my whole house but yelled and got angry with my kids then I have not fulfilled God’s expectations! I saw a picture of what I want my family to look like by watching one show from the Brady Bunch! But knew only through Jesus could we be selfless and thoughtful of each other. God gave me a strategic prayer for when times get tough for me: “I love my children because You love me today God. My love stems out of your love for me. And that is constant. You don’t stop loving me because you don’t feel like it. I can’t let feelings get in the way of my dream. Fill me Lord with your love.”

September- I saw the movie with Matthew called Hillary’s America by Dinesh D’Souza. There was one scene that shook me up and made me think!  it was the scene where Hillary was sitting at a restaurant with a man and she was telling him I will give you benefits and a house to stay in, but in turn I will take your soul. Then it hit me! Oh my goodness,aybe public education from the government is like that.  they tell us we will babysit your children for free for 8 hours a day and take them to school and bring them home on the bus but in turn we want your children’s soul. I know that sounds extreme but the way the government orders things in the public school you have to think twice.

Oct- Had the idea to start a Mom’s group at my church Antioch. I was getting excited about having vision to speak to other mom’s and encourage them in their parenting journey! The Lord gave me an analogy of a door hinge. How my relationship with God is like the hinge on a door! If the hinge is gone then the door is not connected at all!! So if I’m not in intimate relationship with God that day, I can’t expect my family to stay in peace together or for my dreams to come true! My very dreams hinge on my relationship to God! Then I read a children’s book by Eric Carle called the Beetle. The story line is about a beetle who fell down and can’t flip himself over. All the animals tell he can try again and every time he tries he just falls back down on his back. Finally a human boy is about to step on him and all of a sudden he jumps up and lands on his feet!! Fear moved him to do something he has been wanting to do for a long time! I thought about my dream! What is my dream!? What do I want my family to look like in 10, 20 years? I knew that my dream could only come about by home-schooling as I thought about it. But I still had so much fear just like that beetle. I thought, “Lord, help me with my fear. Help me see the danger coming so I will be motivated enough to just do it!” But I still had a lot of fear and doubts! I knew if I were to die in 3 months or 1 year I would for sure home-school. So what was stopping me now was my question?

Oct 15th-I attend a prayer meeting at Teresa Lusk’s house with my mother in law Lynn Bratcher. The man was from a Vineyard church. After he spoke he prayed for us! He prayed with such authority! I was taken back a little. He asked me what I needed before he prayed for me. I didn’t know what to say. I just said, “More gifting!”. Stacey’s daughter got filled with the Holy Spirit and I also got filled with the Holy Spirit! It was so amazing. I have had that happen before in my life but I can count on one hand how many times! I knew God was doing something great in my life that night. I felt like He spoke to me, “Tabitha, I release you into ministry now. You were on a godly sabbatical for 1 year, but now I am releasing you from that and calling you forth! Don’t look down upon yourself because you’re a woman! You are my daughter-my warrior-my soldier in My Kingdom! I have released you to have vision for your family and to call it forth into being. To set a course for your family as His ambassadors. As a partner with Matthew working together in purpose and vision. You will go to war and set the captives free! You will do the work of the Kingdom my daughter. You will have authority as you go because I am your authority! It is Me who is going to do it through you.” I was elated. That night after God spoke to me I also thought about how if we do home school then we are released to do more ministry as a family because there is more flexibility! It would free us up for God to use us together as a strong mighty force that is united in heart and mind!

Oct 16– I wrestled with the idea of am I happy with the way our life is going right now? The answer was “NO!!” I knew there needed to be a change, but didn’t know what.

Oct 21– visited 1 home-schooling mom named Devon from my son’s soccer team. She has 2 boys under 7. Just hearing her schedule helped me have vision for my home. Her husband worked as an administrator in Wylie for years and his experience with seeing the kids in school is that they would never put their children in public school again. He saw so many terrible things with drugs to other things. Highly motivating to home-school! She encouraged me to pray into if my kids are an idol to us. I said yes I will! I went home and read an article on idolizing our kids. I read this article: http://theprayingwoman.com/10-signs-youre-idolizing-something-or-someone/

It really helped me see I was idolizing my kids! I repented and laid it down! I started seeing more victory in my parenting! I realized I was leaning too much on them to make me happy and if they were not happy then I had to make them happy again. But that is not true! I felt freedom to parent God’s way more!

Oct 21– Matthew and I saw movie “I’m not ashamed”. That movie will inspire anyone to think twice about schools in general. It was very eye opening to me about the struggles we go through in our walk with God and in trying to fit in with our culture. It definitely motivated me to want to home-school, but I wasn’t convinced yet.

Oct 24– Teresa called a fast and prayer time Monday through Wednesday. It was not a coincidence that I felt very strongly after the movie to home school. Then time of fasting! God really wants me to do this! I get it God! I joined them for prayer Monday the 24th. At that prayer time we heard song called “Trust without Borders”. So timely with what I’m feeling. Then I saw a picture of wine then a picture of grapes and thought of the process of how grapes gets turned into wine! God spoke John 15 to me out of that picture. John 15 1“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunesa so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.: He told me He wants me to home-school so that He can prune me more! He wants me to bear more fruit so He has to prune me first. He wants me to depend on Him more; to be more desperate for Him so that I will lean on Him and be forced to spend time with Him more. If we are comfortable then most of the time we don’t lean on God as we should. Also God brought the verse Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger

Oct- read 1 Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of the faith; lay hold of the eternal life to which you were summoned and before many witnesses.” Joyce Meyer says, “One part of fighting the good fight of faith is the ability to recognize our enemy. As long as we are passive, Satan will torment us. Nothing is going to change about our situation if all we do is sit and wish things were different. We have to take action. Too often we do not move against the enemy when he comes against us with discouragement, fear, doubt, or guilt. We just draw back into a corner somewhere and let him beat us up. We believe his lies when we should stand against them with the truth of Gods Word!”

Oct– God showed me a lie I was believing! It was, “My kids are really better off in school than with me.”

Nov 7th– I met Teresa and Stacey for prayer and the conversation we had about parenting and yelling really opened my eyes. God just spoke so clearly and said, “take the emotion out of your voice when you are disciplining the kids!” I had the seeds planted from Shepherding a Child’s heart book and DVD series, but it hadn’t really stuck with me or impacted me to actually implement that. My eyes were opened to the reality that when I show a lot of emotion it doesn’t help anyone! Yes I can be stern and strict, but I don’t have to show the emotion I was used to.

Nov 5-Went to a Thanksgiving party. And met a home-school mom there with 4 children all under 8! She has 3 boys and 1 girl! After I heard her schedule and what she does I felt as if a big weight dropped off of me. I could picture my family doing her schedule! I knew it could work if I gave them enough play time outside to get their wiggles out before starting school. It was refreshing and timely that God had me sit at her table at that party! God is so amazing to put us where He wants us!

Nov 7- On Nov 5th in the morning had a really hard time with Abigail that set me off to an emotional anger fit. Had a breakthrough in my thoughts about Abigail. I wrote more about it in another post. But briefly God gave me the idea of having more compassion with her and the most training for her since she is the brunt of all my mistakes as a parent. She is my first so she experienced the most mistakes. This helped me release any resentment or bitterness from the past with her. And after reading articles from this website about training your children it really gave me vision for more training!!! http://nogreaterjoy.org/ and by the way I have to give a shout out to my former team leaders on the field overseas! I won’t mention their names for security reasons, but the wife really did show me what good training really looks like. She had high expectations for her daughter and now her 4 children. She is a successful mother who makes it her #1 goal to train them so that there can be less discipline later. I have seen the fruit of her walk and parenting. I’m so thankful for her. Thank you “Russia”. She helped me a lot even though she doesn’t know it! All the seeds she planted are bearing fruit now.

Nov 9-Visited another home-school mom with 7 children all under 12! She gave me a lot of good advice. The best thing she told me is to read the book called “Teaching from Rest” by Sarah Mackenzi.

Teaching From Rest- A Homeschooler’s Guide to Unshakable Peace

She also showed me her chore chart! She created it out of a paper plate!

chore chart idea from my friend Lisa
chore chart idea
from my friend
Lisa

You just turn it every day! the first circle is the every day chore no matter what. The outside circle of chores is if you have time! Just grab 2 paper plates and cut one to fit inside the front. Get a brad and put them together. Spin every night to change the chore chart!

Nov 10- As I’m listening to the book “Teaching From Rest” I am sensing such confirmation that I can home school with confidence!!! I no longer believe the lie that my children are better off at school than with me. She gives such great analogies and insights for any parent! One that struck me is that all we need to bring everyday we wake up is our basket. I can bring my basket to Jesus. I know how to sing, act, have intimacy with God and listen to His voice. I am not super smart or know how to sow or plant a garden. But the boy who brought Jesus his basket of fish and bread only had a little to offer, but Jesus multiplied it and fed over 5000 men and women with children!!! Jesus will multiply what I have to offer and teach my children! I also can live simple without feeling stressed about curriculum! She has helped me get a handle on how not to compare or stress about the “RIGHT” curriculum. She also said to take a break every 6 weeks to reassess everything and see if you need to change something. This helps you not change curriculum before the 6 weeks is over. Keeps the peace and balance. She said it doesn’t matter what curriculum as long as it is following Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Sarah said don’t let your curriculum be your slave. Let it serve you. Whatever you teach them all day is the curriculum. Resources are always helpful and good, but you are the teacher.

Nov 17 My friend Titti texted me a devotional from Joseph Prince that really helped me so much!!! I don’t agree with everything he might say. But I will say that scripture brings forth fruit!

http://www.josephprince.org/daily-grace/grace-inspirations/single/christ-is-the-treasure-in-you/

2 Corinthians 4:7

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

The verse tells us that we have “this treasure” in earthen vessels. Who is the treasure? Christ! Who are the earthen vessels here? You and I! Thank God the treasure is in the earthen vessels.

My friend, Christ the treasure is in you. So don’t get frustrated when you see your “earthiness”. You will always be “earthen” as long as you are in your mortal body, but remember that Christ the treasure is in you.

Should you lose your cool with your spouse or children, remember that Christ in you is your patience. When I feel impatient, I don’t pray, “Lord Jesus, give me patience…now!” No, I look to Jesus and I say, “Lord Jesus, I thank You that You are my patience.”

In my younger days and even when I first got married, I had a bad temper. I tried all sorts of anger management techniques, but I never got very far until I told God, “God, I am so frustrated trying to overcome my anger. I give up! I cannot. You can. I rest and depend on You.” Not too long after that, my wife commented, “You know, you have improved in the area of your temper.”

I thought about what she had said and realized that I was not even conscious of the change in me. When family members can see the patience of Christ manifesting through a naturally impatient person, God gets the glory.

Perhaps you are frustrated with your smoking and drinking habits. Or maybe you are discouraged by your feelings of jealousy, distrust, bitterness, depression and defeat. Don’t condemn yourself for being earthen. Don’t try to “cast out” your earthiness. Just realize that you have Christ the treasure in you.

The more you see that treasure in you, the more Christ’s brilliance shines forth in you. And in the midst of your earthiness, God gets the glory as you yourself are transformed from glory to glory! (2 Corinthians 3:18)

Thought For The Day

The more you see Christ the treasure in you, the more Christ’s brilliance shines forth in you.

Back to Tabitha now:

After reading that I knew God was telling me that He wants to get the glory for me home schooling my children. That it is He that is going to take care of their education and being smart. He told me He was going to take care of getting me the right curriculum! Why? Because He is going to get the glory!! I can rest in my part which is to train my children every day in the ways of the Lord by having a sincere heart and understanding scripture. I need to show them what God is like by being God to them by allowing Jesus and the Holy Spirit to live through me! My children base their opinion about God based on how they see their parents. God’s grace is there for me, but yet Luke 12:48 says, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” This is how I feel about myself being a 2nd generation Christian!  I just felt empowered that it’s not about me!

I felt this statement of faith rise up in me: “It doesn’t’ matter if my children are smart and have a great education! All that matters is that my children have a heart that wants to please and serve God, their creator! He will take care of the rest! I don’t have to get nervous about homeschooling because I don’t have to figure things out. I don’t need to know all the answers because God will figure it out! He will give me the wisdom because He will get the glory! I also don’t have to boast or act like a super mom in front of other moms or show off because it’s not about me! It’s about God getting the glory! So I have a check in my spirit about putting things on face book. Because some moms put everything they are doing on face book to get people to think they are so great and they are a great mom! I don’t need my approval from anyone! I have it from God! Thank you Lord!

Nov 19th– Matthew found Elijah’s diary that he had started that week. It was revealing of how the school had influenced him in a negative way. We were very disturbed by it and Matthew felt an urgency that we need to home school sooner than later. I thought a lot that night about home schooling. I looked up Psalm 127:3-4  “3 Children are a heritage from the Lord,offspring a reward from him.  4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.” I stayed up that night thinking about arrows. I looked up the definition. It says a shaft sharpened at the front and with feathers or vanes at the back, shot from a bow as a weapon or for sport. I meditated on the fact that it can be used for a weapon or a sport! So all children are arrows. Some parents see life as a sport others see life as a war. Our viewpoint will determine how we train our arrows! I know that we are a part of Gods kingdom and we must fight the good fight of faith attacking the enemy and advancing God’s kingdom! This inspired me to home school so I can train them! I thought, “Elijah, Abigail, Isaiah, and Esther are MY ARROWS! I don’t want to send my arrows off to some building for 7 hours with children who are living life as a sport and not a war. My children are being trained in the wrong way! Then they come home to me and I have to spend so much time un-training them so that I can re-train them. It is exhausting work on top of feeding them and going to sports events! I might as well just train them right the first time now and avoid suffering later in life! Our kids will be who they hang around! Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.

Nov 20- Pastor Brand’s sermon was on embracing your season!!! He said first recognize the season you are in. Then embrace it. Say, “This season won’t be here forever.” Then leverage the season. Know the reason for every season. When the harvest is ready you have to be out there gathering all the crops and produce otherwise it will be too late! It will all be spoiled! You have to seize the moment! You have to take advantage of the season! He talked about a farmers life and how the winter seems like a wasted season. But not to a farmer! The winter is the time to prepare, maintain and fix things that might break during the Spring when it is time to plant the seeds and plow the fields! God wants to teach you things in this season to prepare you for the next season! How the balances of life is about moving in the direction of pressure. If you think you have to get one schedule figured out and stick to it and that is called balance you’re wrong! When you hold out a ruler and you put your finger in the middle it’s balanced. But when there is pressure on one end your finger has to move towards the pressure so the ruler can stay balanced! This was so amazing to me because I beat myself up for not keeping the same schedule every day sometimes! It’s so silly, but I do. Now I feel released from that and to feel flexible to move towards the pressure but to come back if the pressure is gone there to keep the balance! Don’t postpone fixing the problem he said! Move prudently but not impulsively …make gentle motions to keep your balance. If we overreact we might get off balance! Let’s not overreact to things!! Move temporarily but not permanently! We can’t get locked into one set thing! Develop coolness under pressure and to respond intentionally.

Later that day we visited a refugee family from Iraq as a family unit! It was the best visit we have ever had as a family! It was peaceful and it went smooth! I got to share the gospel to the young girl and a light bulb went off for her. I could see it and hear it! She tried to explain it to her parents but they shot her down with what they know and have learned. It was a great seed! It gave me hope and vision for all the visits we could make if we do home school!

Nov 23rd– I met a family that is moving in diagonally from me who is homeschooling their 3 boys 8 to 12 years old! They told me about Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) curriculum. So I’m excited to see if we want to go that route! I only met them because I let the kids do a hot chocolate/pie stand outside our house! God is so faithful and will get me the right connections and the right curriculum for our family!

Nov 26- God reminded me of Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” No Greater Joy.org ministries touched on this and helped me see this verse for what it really says. This article is truly amazing and life changing.

http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/six-ways-parents-destroy-their-children-without-trying/

The verse says “train”. If I’m allowing other children and other adults have my children for 8 hours a day then I’m allowing them to be trained in a way that I’m not sure of. If I’m not there the whole time I can’t help train him in the ways of the Lord. He is too young to know the Lord’s ways. And they don’t talk about the Bible in school so there’s no way he can learn there. If this is the case, then how can I believe God for the promise even when he is old he will not depart from it?” I can do my best to train him at home for the short times that I have him, but I have to pray and have faith in God’s grace to redeem anything he goes through at school. If he picked up any wounds at school I have to pray he will tell me so I can help him through the bitterness and forgiveness that will eat him alive unless he learns God’s way of forgiveness and love. I have to pray and hope he is making the friends that won’t pull him away from God and our family. I don’t know for sure because I’m not there. I can only hope and pray. But the Bible says, “Train up a child…”so it’s my job to make sure he is trained all day every day. I can put other friends and godly adults in their lives who I trust to an extent! We all have to trust God ultimately. We can’t overprotect our children! They have to experience the world of course! But we can do our job to train! They are our arrows! We must send them into the world, but they must come back to us to be further trained until the time comes for us to release them to God. I also got that from www.nogreaterjoy.org

I’m not saying the answer to having perfect godly kids who won’t stray is to home school. Of course not! It’s in God’s hands! There is no perfect answer! We have to do what God is leading us to do for our family! We have more kids so it’s harder to keep track of everything that happens to them at school. It makes sense for people who have more kids to home school so they can train more efficiently. If you have 2 kids or so it is easier to keep up with everything they are doing at school and help them more. So I’m not putting down anyone who wants to keep their kids in school. I think there is a season for everything!

The other verse that really inspires me to home school is at the beginning of Psalm 127:1-2  1Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
2In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep toa those he loves.
3Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
4Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.

This just confirms what God has been telling me! The Lord wants to be the one who builds my house! The Lord will watch over the city of my house and guard! If I don’t allow the Lord to be the absolute center of our lives then I build in vain and I watch in vain. How can I expect protection and a great house without the complete reliance upon God to be at the center!??? If I continue my kids in the public education as they are now I will be doing it in vain. Because for 8.5 hours they don’t talk about God at all!! Only among st themselves and that may only be for 5 minutes of free time talk. I am already experiencing the exhaustion from this kind of life. I do feel as if I am toiling in vain. I get up at 6:40 am to get them off to the bus in a hurry because my school is 20 minutes away I can’t drive them anymore. Then I am at home toiling all day feeling an emptiness that I can’t explain even though I have Isaiah and Esther at home. Then when they come home at 3:30 tired, hungry, and cranky! I get the leftovers of my children! We have to do homework, sports or church event, then get to bed. They have no time for chores or learning to be part of this family! Then it’s off to bed without any reading time because we came home too late and you have to get up early! It’s a rat race! I feel it is all in vain!! For what? For my children to have a somewhat good education and some fun? It’s not worth it to me anymore! I’m ready for the fight it takes to have all 4 kids home. I’m ready to train them in the ways of the Lord without getting angry at them. I’m ready to train my arrows to get ready for the world out there so they can overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony! I’m ready for them to learn how to become a prayer warrior and to learn scripture their only true weapon in life! I know God will take care of their education because He is getting the glory! He is the one building our house now not me! So nothing will be in vain and we will not regret this decision one bit!!! Glory to God for giving us the victory in Christ Jesus our Lord!!!!  Romans : 11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

The book that is helping me think about my children become world changers is: “Influencing Children to become World Changers” by Joy Dawson There is really great information in here!

I also got a book on helping my kids eat healthier! These have helped me a lot!

Feeding The Whole Child = Success!

Nov 31st- My kids were off last week for  Thanksgiving all week and now they went back to school this past Monday.

My observations since: They are more impatient with younger siblings when they come home. I realize they are gone for 8.5 hours and mostly with their own age group!!

I have to take time to untrain certain behaviors or thoughts  they are picking up at school  that are counterproductive to my vision and our goals as a family Friday and Saturday then by Sunday we are all geling, then the cycle starts over! But I need to practice consistency even now.

 They have a mindset that life is all about them. That life is about having fun with some school work in there.

I see their mentality more about individualism instead of a community family driven mentality.

They are learning and embracing more worldly culture than what we would like about holidays.

I’m noticing that at 330 my body and mind start shutting down and I need to lay down of get away from kid’s and I can’t bc they get home at 330!! I get I break and they missed my most energetic time during mid morning! And vice versa with them too!!

Also, Ive been reading the book called Influencing Children to become world changers by Joy Dawson. 

https://www.amazon.com/Influencing-Children-Become-World-Changers/dp/0785263640

I bought this book when I was 18 or so. One idea that she talks about is helping your children develop their own binder with alphabetical order tabs and start writing their own scriptures about God’s character under the correct Alphabet letter that it starts with. I just want them to get more of God more scriptures in their life.

Dec 1st:  Things I have to grow in order to have more success in homeschooling our four children:

  1. Continue to stay calm even when kids are out of control. Be the person I want my kids to be.
  2. To be self controlled in finances and material things, junk food, and tv/movies
  3. Learn that some days when my plate is very full with many different errands to run, I can’t expect too much from myself the rest of the day. In the past I would see this pattern: I would realize at the end of the night how much I wanted to do with the kids, but didn’t get to or think about so I would condemn myself subconsciously without knowing it. I would in turn act angry with my family because I felt like a bad mom. Since I felt like a bad mom I thought I might as well give up and just be a bad mom right now! Wow. How immature!

Thought on trials and knowing our weaknesses:

We are all still growing in Christ and becoming more and more like Him! Thank you God for Jesus and for refining us in areas of our weaknesses! Some people don’t know they have weaknesses because they haven’t had enough trials to help all of them come to the surface! The more trials you go through the more weaknesses you will see, but the joy is that once they are at the surface God is able to help you and be your strength in them as long as your eyes are on Jesus!

Back to topic of not condemning myself:

So now I’m telling myself when I didn’t get much accomplished with the kids that day: Remember: if at the end of my day I didn’t sin against my kids then I have completely succeeded in God’s book for being a mother today! Stay calm even if they are out of control! Even though I’m sick, tired, and lazy, I still have to have the mindset of training them otherwise I won’t have a desire to be around them and  it will tempt me to tell of raise my voice. God is consistent no after what. Good character is being consistent and having discipline.  If I’m at my wit’s end  and they are doing wrong  it’s better for me to let it go & ignore them so I don’t end up wounding them, then in a little bit deal with the issue and train them. Be the person you want them to be right now in the midst of this trial. After you journal and get some sleep you will be good as new in the morning! You can get so much accomplished tomorrow because all your errands are out of the way and now you can focus! Your day today was not wasted, just busy. So give yourself a break and relax. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your sleep and rest. Enjoy that you have a chance tomorrow to do something great!

If I succeed at not condemning myself I will be closer to being like Jesus because John 3:17 says Jesus did not come to condemn me but to save me.

It’s all about our perspective!! I am reading the rest of the Taming the Tiger Parent book and it is sooooooo helpful to me in giving me a relaxed mindset. This book is helping me seal the deal with not condemning myself as a teacher or a parent. It’s all about our minds being renewed by the truth. If we still believe a lie in a certain area then there are strongholds there by the enemy and he still has a right to be in our life. But once those lies are gone, there’s nothing for him to hold onto! Hallelujah for the victory in Jesus!!!

4. To know that my job as a parent is mainly to show them what God the Father is like, to train them in the Lord, and to help them develop a LOVE for learning!!! This is my strategy and motto for parenting and home school. Anything else that comes up needs to be 2nd priority.

5. To understand my own personality and how God has created me, embrace it, be thankful, and learn how to overcome the weak side of my personality! I am good at being driven and accomplishing many things. I am good at being in front of people singing or acting. I am good at being with many kids at once and being creative in teaching and playing with them. One of my biggest struggles is my mind and negative thoughts that I dwell on when I’m in the midst of not getting my way that day or in that moment. When I don’t get my way with how I wanted the day to go, I realize that I actually throw a temper tantrum in my mind to myself! And those thoughts bring me down low! Then I might do things that are not like me or do things I don’t really desire but only are doing them out of a defeated attitude as if giving up is the only way for me at that moment.  How foolish. Thank you God for revealing this to me. I repent for this now! I will do the opposite next time and think positive thoughts and truthful thoughts to avoid the attitude of giving up! Thank you Lord your mercies are new every morning!

6. On the other side of understanding my personality I am coming to terms I was destined to home school because of the way God has wired me. If I am not fulfilling a great purpose that is impossible with man, then I start becoming lazy, negative, and apathetic. It’s really sad, but true. Ever since I came to know Christ at 15 my life has been for the impossible! God is in the impossible so that His glory will be revealed in us accomplishing things that seem impossible to man! He deserves all the glory and will receive all the glory! I feel like a David against a Goliath with wanting to home school my children. But it feels right! Just like I’m sure David felt right as he stepped up to the giant! David had confidence and trust in the Almighty God who could defeat that giant with his pinky finger!

Dec 13, 2016

This morning I heard lots of lies from enemy like, you are not a good mom, you can’t teach Isaiah right, your kid’s won’t be Mart bc you are not consistent enough. At first I started to feel depressed, but took a breath and thought I am in a war everyday! The devil is after me! He wants me down! I will fight back and not believe that! Then thought, I am a great mom! My issue today is that I don’t schedule time to teach him. Once I get a schedule I do great! I can focus on what he’s good at and build him up. Isaiah will be smart. I do not need to compare any of my kid’s to each other or anyone!

Also my kid’s told me today that all the kid’s are focused on pokemon cards and not playing normal.

February 1st, 2017

About 4 weeks ago Abigail tells me, “Mom, I don’t want to home school yet because this school is new and I’m just getting to know the people. It feels hard to come and then leave.” I replied, “Don’t worry, we are still praying about the timing and God will show us all.”

Then tonight Abigail tells me, “Mom, I think we should home school next year.” I said, “Why do you say that?” Abigail-“Because I forget about God when I’m at school. I am at school a long time. I don’t have enough time at home to do things.” We talked some more and we prayed that God would show us when to home school.

That’s amazing! Praise the Lord. We don’t know if Isaiah should go to Kindergarten at Public School and then we home school everyone or if we should just home school next year. We will see!

Feb 4

God just spoke to me through the movie lala land. At the end of the movie he went back and retraced his decisions and chose but his heart was telling him to do and he ended up with his Ultimate Dream of marrying the woman he loved but he had to give up the dream of having his own band. There is always a cost you going after what you truly want. I feel God is telling us to homeschool and if we disobey because of a dream we have for our kids we might end up in a path that we never wanted.

Today February 5th and God spoke to me through the super book of Abraham that God is such a jealous God. He doesn’t want my kids in a school for 8 hours and not talk about God. He’s too jealous. Also that God wants to test us like he tested Abraham to see if we love him more than anything else. I feel like God is testing me and asking me to homeschool because the only reason I would homeschool is to have more of God in my life and in my children’s lives. But God knows my mindset about homeschooling. In my flesh I believe it’s impossible and that it could break me and make me feel inadequate. But Hes asking me, do you trust me? Like when I called you to move to another country, it’s about the same level of trust you need to make this big decision.

I am also reading the book called Radical by David Platt. It is revolutionising my world right now living in America.

March 22, 2017

I decided not  to homeschool next year after  kid’s got strep.

March 23 I blow candle and in my heart I pray I can homeschool.  since I decided not to homeschool the next day I noticed that I was down in my mood. Almost like the feeling of giving up but not being aware of it at the moment.

March 24 Matthew said on date night I am a teacher and we need to homeschool. I  got excited again! But wrote down the obstacles I have to overcome. Like no substitute  when I am sick. and the children playing too much and watching videos and not working enough and having a sense of responsibility for learning and chores.

March 25 sat am  on my way to Antioch for womens group I listen to Michael pearls talk on homeschool for the first time. it was a revelation of ways to homeschool I have never heard of. It  broke shackles off of my mind and thinking. His talk made me excited and confident that I can homeschool and be successful. Everything I heard helped me overcome in the obstacles I had just written down the night before.

Then Emily talks about surrendering the one thing that you’re holding on too tightly.  and how God has to fill all the holes in your life that nothing else can fill. Jar visual  with many things we are thankful for but there are holes still in the jar in between all the stuff.

then she played a Bethel song and the last line of the song says because your love is worth it!!  God’s presence filled me I cried I surrendered I said yes to homeschool for good!

Then Jan afterwards gives me a little ornament that says you are a teacher that cares and blesses many.  it’s confirming that my identity is a teacher, not just a mom.  this was a double confirmation sealing the deal for me!!

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